Love is Not Arrogant or Rude

Paul paints a marvelous portrait of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Remember that his stated
purpose for describing love is to show to the Corinthians (and us) “a better way”
(12:31). Let’s not forget that what he’s really doing is describing the Divine Love, or the
love of God Himself. It is agape love that he writes about here, a love that “wills the
good of the other.”

So far he has described love as being patient and kind, a benevolent disposition that
does not envy or boast. But he has more to say about it, so he continues painting this
masterpiece. The Divine Love is awesome to behold!
“Love is not arrogant or rude,” Paul continues.

Arrogance means to be puffed up with pride. Think of a hot air balloon rising higher
and higher. Arrogant people are like that balloon, their heads swell up with pride to the
point that they elevate themselves over others. You can’t miss noticing a hot air
balloon trailing across the sky, and arrogant people don’t want to go unnoticed either.
And they make sure others notice them with the way they carry themselves, or dress,
or speak.
Arrogant folks are preoccupied with themselves, but that is not how love acts. Love is
concerned with the welfare of the other and prefers that self fade into the background
and remain anonymous. The Christian who truly loves as God loves does not seek
attention or the praise of others. This preoccupation with self was the main fault of the
Pharisees who performed their righteousness before others to be seen by them
(Matt.6:1ff).

There are many reasons why a person becomes puffed up. Paul warned about
knowledge puffing up Christians in 1 Cor.8:1. In that context Paul spoke about eating
meat sacrificed to idols and he stated that “we know” that an idol is nothing, but
cautioned brethren with that understanding to not demean or bully weaker Christians
(they did not have this knowledge) into submission to their point of view. Remember
that knowledge—even biblical knowledge—can puff you up if you let it. Remember
that “love edifies.” Use your knowledge, wisdom, and spiritual insight to teach and
edify your brothers and sisters.

Furthermore, Paul says that love is not rude. In other words, a person with love does
not behave improperly or unseemly. Such a person respects standards of decency
and comportment. “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that
you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6 ESV). “Let no
one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in
conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12 ESV).

One final admonition I would offer all of us is to guard against being arrogant towards
the world just because they do not fear God and we do. Avoid being self–righteous.
Again, we can look at the poor example of the Pharisees to understand what not to be
(Luke 15:1–2). Let us love them as God loves them, seeking their good and praying for
their soul’s salvation.
– Kurt Paquette