It's not hard to think of outstanding Bible women to use for models of good mothers. Names like: Sarah, Hannah, Jochebed, Mary, Elizabeth, Eunice top the list. But trying to think of comparable men to set forth as models of fatherhood is not as easy, for many great men of the Bible were failures in their homes: David, Lot, Eli, Samuel, Jacob, etc. A look at the causes of their failures might be instructive to fathers today so that we avoid their mistakes.

Immorality. The ruin of David's house resulted from his adultery with Bathsheba and consequent murder of Uriah her husband (2 Samuel 11 ff). Noah's drunkenness contributed to the trouble in his family, and tainted the success we normally credit him with for bringing up sons in a sin soaked society (Gen. 9). If men today live in drunkenness and adultery, and other forms of immorality, they cannot hope to be successes in their homes. How many homes are destroyed today because fathers are undisciplined and self indulgent?

Lack of Discipline, Destruction came upon Eli and his family because "his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them" (1 Samuel 3:13). The Bible says, "Discipline your sons while there is hope, and do not desire his death" (Proverbs 19:18). Yes, a father should love his children, play with them, read to them, enjoy them, but in his love he must discipline them. "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. " (Hebrews 12:11). How many homes today are destroyed not only because fathers fail to discipline themselves, but also their children?

Greed. "Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordon, that it was well watered everywhere...like the garden of the Lord' (Genesis 13:10). This doesn't sound so bad, however, because he was motivated by his desire for this abundance, "he moved his tents toward Sodom." Now that was a mistake. The consequences are well known to us all. He lost his wife, his sons, and eventually his daughters to the worldly values of that city. How many homes are destroyed for the same failure in its leaders? Men will sacrifice their children on the altar of greed being willing to move their children anywhere for the sake of a promotion or more money,

Partiality. This mistake brought grief to the family of Isaac, who was partial to Esau, while Rebekah was partial to Jacob. Unfortunately Jacob learned that way of parenting and subsequently showed favoritism to Joseph. Not only did the family suffer generally in both cases, but the special child suffered especially.

What can men do to avoid failure in the home? Be true leaders! "For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church." (Eph. 5:23). To fill that role in a way the wife can respect her husband is to develop ones strength in the areas of character and conviction. It is sad to see a godly woman trying to be in subjection to a man who is weak and indecisive. David told Solomon, "Prove yourself a man!" (1 Kings 2:2)

Men should also be more thoughtful of their wives and children. They would do well to spend less time watching TV, sportscasts, history channel, newspapers, and spend time with their family. They can take the lead in family prayer time, Bible reading, devotion. They can lead the family by taking on tasks to help others in need in the church and community, They need to go before the people as Joshua went before Israel calling them to serve the Lord and saying, "as for me and my house we will serve the Lord."

Finally, they can develop humility: the humility to ask forgiveness when they fail; the humility to listen to counsel of their wives, and yes, their children; and finally, the humility to change when they are in the wrong, There is no place for stubbornness, pride, self righteousness in the role of a father. Be sure and look at the other page to see a poem that I believe well illustrates the humility every father needs.

Our society talks a lot about children's rights! Many things we would not agree with. But the truth is, children do have a certain right. It is the right to a godly home. And fathers, it was put in our hands to make sure that our home is the God ordered home that they need so they can grow up to be all that God intended them to be, May God help us to prove ourselves godly men directing Godly homes.

Mike