How to Love your Wife #3

What images does the word malnourished conjure up in your mind? Probably needy children in a 3^rd world country; or maybe people in general deprived of the basic necessities of life. However, malnourished can also apply to people who are emotionally and spiritually neglected. Listen to the complaint of some Christian wives who suffer from a form of malnourishment.

Wife A: “My husband is the breadwinner. I receive money for the food needs, but no money for my own personal needs or clothing. He seems to resent having to spend money on me. How do I handle this?”

Wife B: “I have to work, and I come home exhausted and feeling as though I need to be cared for. Instead, I must always attend to my husband’s needs and my children’s needs. I don’t know how to balance my life. Help!”

Wife C: “How should I react when my husband calls and says he will be late for dinner due to work, and I don’t believe he really has to stay at work? I try very hard to make our home a pleasant place to be, but I feel he would rather be at work than home with me.”

Wife D: “What part should I take when my husband, who’s a Christian, does not lead in any of the spiritual areas of the family? The children long for their Daddy to lead them in devotions, and I need his leadership too.”

Would your wife issue complaints similar to these? Here are women who have given and given and feel they are doing it alone, or are unappreciated, exhausted, and neglected. These feelings are real and can lead to bitterness, to rebellion, to separation, and even divorce. The Apostle Paul tells the husband….

“He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body” Eph. 5:29

How can we nourish our wives? (1) By reading the Scripture with her. It is the source of life! Jesus is the bread and water of life (John 4, 6). This is THE basic necessity! Children can be consuming! Caring for a house can be overwhelming. Oh, and don’t underestimate how much she does for her husband! A wife has precious little time to feed herself physical food, let alone the spiritual life giving words of the Bible. She needs you to take the time to read with her!

(2) By praying with her. Pray for her, yes, but also pray with her - either every morning or every night. Ask her what she needs in particular. Maybe it will be for your marriage to improve (Phil. 4:4), or for wisdom (James 1:5), or for patience with the kids (1 Cor. 13:4-5), or maybe it is strength to serve or be hospitable (1 Peter 4:11).

(3) By providing for her physical and emotional needs. God has made you the Shepherd of your family and as such you must take the lead in providing your wife with things she needs. While children mean well, they don’t always give a lot in return. There is far more energy spent by a wife than absorbed in a days work. Now it is true, Proverbs 31 presents a worthy woman as a tireless woman - rising up early to provide for her family. Her goal was also to bless and honor her husband. But who will bless her? Who will replenish her strength when she is empty? Prov. 31:30, says, Her husband will! “He praises her saying: Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all” (31:28-29).

God has lavished His blessings upon us. We are never starved or malnourished by the Lord. He constantly tends to our needs, so we can be busy about His work without anxiety (Matthew 6:24-33). So where do you stand? If you really want to know where you stand, don’t do a self-evaluation – ask your wife! Honey, how am I measuring up to Ephesians 5:28? What can I do to nourish you better? What are you missing? Don’t set her up to coddle you! Ask her genuinely to help you improve as a Shepherd! One day we will give an account to the Chief Shepherd! 1 Peter 5:4 MB