How to Love Your Wife - The Husband’s Handbook Article #2

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV) Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” (bold, MB).

How are you coming with the goal of becoming a better husband in 2009? Our second article of this 7 part series offers KEY NUMBER 2: A husband must love his wife with a 3 part knowledge (1 Peter 3:7)

Part 1: He understands her personally! David said of God, “O Lord, Thou hast searched me and known me…thou dost understand my thought from afar…thou dost scrutinize my path and my lying down, thou art intimately acquainted with all my ways.” Psalm 139:1-3. We take tremendous comfort in the fact that God dwells with us according to knowledge. It convinces us that HE CARES!!!! Peter says, we must do the same with our wives.

There is an old cliché, “You can never understand a woman.” Men say that jokingly, but truth is, it is a copout for the lazy husband who doesn’t want to exert the energy necessary to learn about the person he married. While it is true that God does not expect a man to understand every woman, Peter says “There is one woman you must understand: your woman!”

Some of us are research experts, trained in the field of compiling data, analyzing it, synthesizing it, boiling it down until we understand all its parts. GREAT! But what about our wives! She is a person who has emotions, feelings, desires, needs, sensitivities to some things and repulsion to others. What things make her mad? What are the signs of when she is depressed? What does she need in order to feel secure? What makes her happy? Feel loved? At least part of being a good husband involves, dwelling with her according to knowledge. It convinces her YOU CARE and EQUIPS you to meet her needs.

Part 2: He perceives her immense value! God declared his people to be a treasure (Deut. 26:18). He called them his own special people among all the people of the earth (Exodus 19:5). He exalted them above all nations so that all could see. In short, He honored them! Isn’t it sad, many men treat their wives as an old tin garbage can, rather than honoring her as someone of immense value. The weaker vessel idea in, is not intended to communicate inferiority, but that she has assumed a position of greater vulnerability. The wife has willingly placed herself under the authority and care of her lord (1 Peter 3:6), her husband. She submits to his leadership, even if he is a non-believer ( 1 Peter 3:1), in order to receive the blessings God has promised. In turn, the husband ought to treat his bride as a cherished possession. In Solomon’s famous love song to his Shulammite bride, he openly honored, treasured, and valued his beloved. The book is just spilling over with his praises of her. His love was so evident she said, “His banner over me is love.” (Song of Solomon 4:4). In other words, when she entered banquet hall with Solomon, it was obvious to everyone that she was the most important person in his kingdom. Husbands, how do you treat your wife publicly? Do you open doors for her still? Seat her at the table? Help her with her coat? Do you regard your wife as a treasure? Would others perceive that? What would she say? Do you, as Solomon did, make her feel that she is the most important person in your kingdom?

Part 3: He knows God’s spiritual assessment of his wife. Peter says she is a “joint heir with you of the free gift of eternal life.” The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the Church. It is a privilege and responsibility to be God’s representative in our home. But did you know that your wife has an equal status before God, we are joint heirs. We may have different roles, but we are spiritual equals. If we forget this, we dishonor our wives and cannot expect God to honor our requests in prayer.

Mike