Have you ever thought how ironic it is that in our society a person has to have four years of training to get an electricians license, but absolutely no training to get a marriage license. For many, even perhaps most men, we just conquer the woman and wing it from there.  Can you imagine how dangerous and disastrous it would be to never get proper training to be an electrician? But often in marriages men begin with virtually no knowledge of how to meet the emotional and mental needs of their new brides. While that is sad, even sadder still is - we are content with that!!!  Some of us will take continuing education courses to improve ourselves in professional ways, but put NO energy at all into learning how to improve our marriages!!

Now, before someone gets too offended, I would certainly not credit myself as being qualified as a marriage counselor, in fact, I need counseling perhaps more than anyone reading this article. But what I stated above is basically true. We try to fly by the seat of our pants and more times than not we are wrecking our relationship and don’t even know it. In His eternal plan, God provided the counsel we need to be good husbands.  You may not know what your wife needs, but God does. Her Creator said - - -

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Eph. 5:25

Your wife needs to be loved. That seems simple enough. But loved how? What does that mean? What does that require of me? There are at least seven aspects of this love necessary to meet your wife’s deepest needs. Several are here in Ephesians 5. I will take up one aspect each month in the bulletin. That will give you some time to research it for yourself, implement each one, and perhaps even begin to see some results before the end of 2009. Here is the first thing a wife needs. 

To be loved with a responsible love. In other words, God intends for husbands to look out for their wives in every way!  Look how Jesus loved the Church with a responsible love: “That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church…” Eph. 5:25ff   To love your wife with a responsible love is seen in the way Jesus cares for us!

Let’s think practical!! Ask yourself, what can I do to be supportive, protective? What can I do to nurture her or give emotional support?  Here is a list - -feel free to add to it.

Spiritually - Pray with her, read the Bible with her.  Emotionally: Give a supportive hug, a back massage; put arms around her at night as you go to sleep. Listen to her without offering quick advice, just listen, and sympathize!!!! Physically: Guard her health, her strength. If she needs to go to the doctor insist she go! If she needs medicine, go buy it for her. Don’t let her overdo around the house. Do your share of the errands, home responsibilities, child care – without leaving the impression you are doing it as a favor. This is not an act of nobility on your part; it’s guarding the precious wife God has given you.

Marriage demands more of us than any other human relationship but, God demands the most from the husband who is to follow the example of Christ.  Who does more in the relationship between Christ and His Church? Jesus gave his very life for us! When we experienced His love we love Him in return.  In the marriage a wife needs you to give your love to her so that she can experience it and then love you in return. God designed her to be a responder to you; and He designed you to be an initiator –to love first! How are you doing on a scale of 1 to 10? This month the challenge to husbands is to become responsible lovers! Mike