“Don’t take any wooden nickels!”

Have you ever heard this saying? Do you know what it means? Now a days we don’t really do the expression justice. If you ask someone to explain it, they will correctly describe a wooden nickel as being a flat plug of wood, a little larger than the size of a half dollar coin (and how often do we see any of *those* these days?) They are usually found as souvenirs; a trinket someone may buy to remember a special occasion or point of interest. I have seen them for states, cities, lighthouses, even the Constitution (the ship not the paper).

But what’s it for? Just a “token” (hint hint) to simply remember something by? Yes, that’s how we see them many times. But often more. I have one from an orchard in Merrimack, and claims to be “good for one free apple.” Glorified coupons, they often are used to lure you in with something “free” in the hopes while you’re there you’ll buy something else.

And there you have an inkling why we have wooden nickels, as best I have been able to understand it. When a carnival or fair would come to town back in the OLD days, it wouldn’t just be there for a weekend. No, it would come and set up for weeks on end. People would buy tokens to spend at the fair, for rides, food, you name it. Yes, wooden nickels. The fair folk (carneys) would often offer them at a discount – 5 for 20 cents. The “face value” of the things would be a nickel. Anyway, if you want to ride just ONE ride then it would cost you a nickel. But the thrifty of us would buy 5 for 20 cents and get that 5^th ride free. Or so we thought…

You see, those nickels would end up being passed from hand to hand, all over town. The grocery store might take them as partial payment. The waitress might get some as a tip for breakfast. The newspaper boys would take them in exchange for a newspaper. Why not, they could give them out in change to someone else just as easily. Everyone would think they’d pulled a fast one on those carneys – why they sold nickels for 4 cents each! What fools! But who really got the last laugh?

Because eventually the carnival would sneak out of town, and the grocery store and barber shop and everyone else would be stuck with wooden, useless slugs. But the two dimes everyone paid, well, those ”sucker” carneys made off with all of those! So often did this little ploy happen that the merchants emphatically told their employees DON’T TAKE ANY WOODEN NICKELS.

Now before you scoff at this, any of us with kids know we go to a place like Chuck E Cheese or Fun World and buy lots of bright shiny brass tokens in the same way. We get a great “deal” on them but when we bring them home what good are they? Can they be spent? Nope. Shiny and pretty as they are, they become valueless slugs.

And that is what I want folks to think about today. People have a lot of value in and of themselves. They have the money they’ve earned, the opportunities to do good, the TIME to use on this and that. And just like wooden nickels, folks spend this “coin” on amusements. Often we are very thrifty and think we are spending it very wisely by doing great worldly things. No doubt many benefit when we build better mousetraps, conserve energy, and discover wonders of the universe. Folks dedicate their lives to these pursuits and get much fame and “fortune” from it. But when the end comes, when their lives are over, what will they have when they stand before the master? The one who reaps where he has not sown?

Yes, the Carney of this world has convinced us to buy his wooden nickels at such a wonderful discount. Don’t be “buffaloed,” (which is the creature most often found on a wooden nickel.) Or, to bring up another famous quote, banker David Hannum once said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” But that friends is a giant story for another day!

Randy