I've had to deal with someone at work that I found very difficult, but over time I've manage to renew our friendly relationship and put the conflict, at least for now, behind us. It's a puzzle to me how it came about in the first place. Someone I've been friends with for years suddenly and totally at odds with me, doing and saying things that seemed outrageously unkind. Every conversation became a disagreement. Eventually though, by being soft spoken and patient I won this person back over. It wasn't me giving in to every little thing, in fact I don't think I compromised anything that I felt was the right thing to do, but I did show the person large amounts of respect.

A co-worker told me this story, which helped me after I thought about it and figured it was worth repeating here:

There was a teacher who ruled his classroom with an iron fist. One day a new student arrived, and he was informed by the teacher "in my class, when it is your turn to read, you stand to the left side of your desk, and hold the book in your right hand " The student started to protest, but was cut off by the teacher.

Later that day, the students were each taking turns reading. It got to the new student, and he stood to the left of his desk, but was holding the book in his left hand The teacher grew furious and went up to the student, yanked the book out of his left hand, and reached to pull his right hand forward to put the book into it... only to discover that the boy had no right arm.

I can see how this can apply to our relationship with each other. Sometimes it seems like a friend is doing things to annoy you on purpose. You may find the things they say and the things they do offensive and difficult to handle. Perhaps we should try hard to see if the problem isn't just that they don't fit into a mold we imagine they should. All of us were raised in different households, with different parents. All of us have had many experiences, both good and bad, that have done much to shape us. Some of us have come a looooooong way towards Christian living, having come out of the world and the carnal ways of thinking. None of us are perfect, not one. As long as we are all striving to live as we should in God's sight, showing love and respect (and forgiveness!) for one another. and living peaceably as possible with each other, we really should get along.

Yes, we might think someone is doing things just to aggravate us. They might not have the ability you expect them to have, or the knowledge, through no fault of their own. We need to be careful to show love and kindness and MERCY. The student in the story did nothing wrong yet should have been shown mercy. Just imagine how grateful we should be knowing that God in his mercy sent his son to die for us, we who were in outright rebellion to him!

Yes, sometimes brethren say and do things that seem to be petty or meant to be mean spirited towards us. And once we start thinking this way, suddenly everything they do comes across as one more "attack" on top of another. I submit to you that they may not intend it to be so! If we refuse to take it as such, and if in fact we seize upon it as an opportunity to grow ourselves, we won't he caught looking for tricks up an empty sleeve. But if you're reading this today and say "yes, but sometimes people DO mean to annoy me on purpose" then you're only going to find the empty sleeve the embarrassing way the teacher did. You’ll be the one that's difficult. Think about it!

Randy