An e-mail we got a while back that I was saving foe when I drew a blank. I actually had a couple other ideas for a bulletin but this kept coming to mind, so rather than fight it I though I would just use it and get it out of the way!
10. The Preacher announces the sermon is from Genesis and you check the table of contents.
9. You think Abraham, Isaac and Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's but never amounted to much.
8. You turn to Psalms and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.
7. When someone asks you your favorite Old Testament character, you say Hercules.
6. Your favorite Bible verse is "Cleanliness is next to godliness."
5. You get mad because you can't find Charlton Heston in the concordance nor in the table of contents.
4. Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"
3. You think the minor prophets worked in the quarries.
2. You fall for it when the Preacher tells you to turn to 2nd Hezekiah.
1. You think that Job rhymes with Bob.
And then of course there are the less funny ones I jotted down while sitting here:
10. Someone writes the word "lost" with their finger in the dust on your bible.Randy
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Romans 1:13 Now I would not have you ignorant, brethren, that oftentimes I purposed to come unto you, (but was let hitherto,) that I might have some fruit among you also, even as among other Gentiles.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
2 Corinthians 1:8-11 For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead: Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us; Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift bestowed upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf.
Romans 10:3 For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.
2 Timothy 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
2 Timothy 4:3-4 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
1 Timothy 4:7 But refuse profane and old wives' fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.