I was in a meeting at work this week, where I happened to be a spectator between two engineers of different opinions. One felt something should be done in a particular manner, and the other thought it should be done in another. They both were basing their arguments from a customer usability study, and from comments the customer made. A usability study is when a customer comes in, is given a chance to see the software while it is still being developed, and is asked to use the software to perform certain tasks. Then the customer is asked if they feel the application was easy to use, did they feel confident using it, what would they change about it, and so on.

If you were there, I think you would quickly side with one even if you didn't know what they were talking about. One of them, Mr. X, was loud, hand-wavy, aggressive, red-faced, and cursed every other word. The other, Mr. Y, was calm, laid back, and showed no sign of being intimidated. Can you picture the scene? Mr X, standing, leaning out over the conference room table, trying to get into the personal space of Mr. Y and make him flinch. Mr Y, leaning back on his chair, with a little sad smile on his face, trying to politely differ with the other engineer without pushing him any further.

Which one do you suppose won the argument? Notice I didn't tell you which one was "right." Mr X was concerned about convincing Mr. Y. Mr. Y was concerned about winning over the rest of us. It's a matter of focus, right? One of them "got it" and one of them "lost it." What was interesting was what Mr. X said near the end of the conversation.

"You aren't listening to me!"

Well, duh. I don't think Mr. Y was deaf. In fact you could probably hear Mr. X yelling from any area in the entire wing of our building. I think Mr. Y heard him just fine. But he wasn't agreeing with him. Also, too often, we think being bold means we must ram the truth down someone's throat for their own good. I think that's a mistake.

Now, I've noticed some brethren that get excited occasionally. They feel that no one is listening to them, when it's really a matter of agreement. Let's draw that picture. You're in bible class. Someone reads a passage, say Matthew 5:32. One person comments that it says no one can marry the one put away - not even the ex-husband. A second person says not true, that he is the only one who could marry her, but no one else can. The first person mentions passages that use the word whosoever without exception. The second brings in the passage about being reconciled. One of them gets louder and louder, more and more excited he is right. The other stays calm, but won't budge. Finally, the loud one says "You aren't listening to me!" and stomps out of the room.

I didn't say which position the loud one held. I just said one was loud. Now, let's learn from that. When you are in a study, if you have a differing thought about a passage, what good does it do to get excited to that degree? Do you think you will "win" something by walking away angry, behaving without maturity? Do you think you win over anyone? As for the rest of us present, when we listen to both sides of the discussion, hopefully with an open mind, considering what is being said in light of the scriptures, does that mean we agree with both? Brethren, let's learn to study more and listen more. We can and should have great unity in out Lord. When someone disagrees with me, it just inspires me to study the matter further lest I be in the wrong. I try to stay cool. How about you?

Isaiah 48:22,49:1 There is no peace, saith the LORD, unto the wicked. Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name.

Genesis 23:13-16 And he spake unto Ephron in the audience of the people of the land, saying, But if thou wilt give it, I pray thee, hear me: I will give thee money for the field; take it of me, and I will bury my dead there. And Ephron answered Abraham, saying unto him, My lord, hearken unto me: the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver; what is that betwixt me and thee? bury therefore thy dead. And Abraham hearkened unto Ephron; and Abraham weighed to Ephron the silver, which he had named in the audience of the sons of Heth, four hundred shekels of silver, current money with the merchant.

I Kings 10:23-24 So king Solomon exceeded all the kings of the earth for riches and for wisdom. And all the earth sought to Solomon, to hear his wisdom, which God had put in his heart.

Psalm 66:17-19 I cried unto him with my mouth, and he was extolled with my tongue. If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me: But verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer.

Proverbs 8:32-33 Now therefore hearken unto me, O ye children: for blessed are they that keep my ways. Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not.

Matthew 10:14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

Luke 11:28 But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it.